Have you ever had a muscle spasm?
Do you remember what it was like trying to fight the spasm?
Your own body fighting itself just to stand still?
Having to consciously fight as hard as an unconscious use of all of your strength.
And yet, it hurts. Hurts immensely.
This is what it is to be depressed.
I am not weak of mind.
Maybe I’m twice as strong as “normal” folks.
I fight every day just to stand still.
To not tip over the edge into the abyss.
It’s a constant fight and I grow tired.

Some days I feel powerful, confident in who and what I am,
I draw strength from the things that make me different,
and I know that I make positive changes in the world around me.

Some days I feel powerless, vulnerable to the whims of others,
my fate lying in the hands of those unseen,
and wrapped in bureaucracies unfathomable.

Today I shrink in fear,
but the day will come,
when I shall soar in the light once again.

Ok, so I’ve been slack over the last few days. I think I have a fairly good excuse though. My phone died and I’ve been running around trying to look after my partner who was in hospital last week.

I did think about my 3 things on at least some of the days and here are some of them.

  • Partner’s operations going well
  • Cheep backup phones
  • Partner coming home
  • Fun picnics with friends
  • New phones/tech gadgets
  • Days lazing at home
  • Naps
  • Fun games

Ok, so I didn’t complete a day and I missed a day, or maybe I just don’t remember them. I’ve been busy ok. Hopefully I’ll do better at this. I might just put these on Twitter in future for ease of posting. Will see.




So I found an interesting new app the other day called Lift. From what I can gather it’s supposed to help you reach your goals by building good habits.

While I was looking through the list of goals to choose from, I found one titled “Write three positive things about today”. I figured this would be a good thing to do. It occurs to me that its much like the concepts of being grateful for something every day or Things That Don’t Suck that I wrote about a while back, but kind of combining the two. I did a quick search on the net and #3PositiveThings is a thing.

So I figure I’ll give this a try. I’ll try to post 3 positive things about my day on my blog, Twiter, Facebook or something. Yes some days it feels like everything sucks, but there are positive things in our lives. Sometimes its just food to eat, a roof over your head and a shoulder to cry on. Some people don’t even have that. Remembering that not everything sucks can be all we need to drag ourselves through the day. So, I’m going to give this a go. Maybe some of you will too.




So, last week I was in Cape Town and was lucky enough to catch up with some friends, new and old.

During lunch the one day there was a discussion about tastes in music. I’ve always been a bit odd. I think my domain name shows that. I told the story about the time I was driving around with friends and the music in the car jumped from Industrial to Jazz, and how my friends looked at me funny.  Of course the conversation then turned to what I listen to and I gave some examples of bands/groups/artists that most people I know have never heard of.  While I think the artists I mentioned definitely underscored the fact that I’m strange, some searches on Youtube showed my lunch mates that my tastes are definitely fun. The world would be boring if we were all the same right?

So here are a few of the interesting things I like to listen to.

For more of what I listen to, check out my Last.fm and Rdio accounts.


Hey folks, it’s been a while since I did an actual update. Life has been fairly interesting and busy over the last while. There have been lots of ups and downs, some of which I’m not ready to talk about publicly. What I do want to tell you about are some events/places that I’ve visited lately.

Ok, so first up was Pecha Kucha Durban Vol.11 back on Thursday 12 June. For those of you who are familiar with TED talks or Ignite talks, this is something similar. People get up on stage and tell the audience about something they are interested in. Each speaker has 20 slides and 20 seconds per slide.  It’s a tough one but it means that people have to get to the core of what they want to convey without being overly verbose. The night I went had an interesting selection of topics from organic farming, to architecture, to co-working spaces. I am really glad I went and I was pleasantly surprised by the number of people who attended.  The event was hosted at The Foundry and afterwards the Open Plan Studio, which is next door, was opened up for people to take a look around.

Next up was National Board Game Day. Some time back I did some Googleing for a friend and found out about a place called The Unseen Shoppe. This is a small shop devoted to various forms of gaming, whether it be card games, board game, RPGs, wargames, etc. I had thought about checking out the place, but just hadn’t got that far. Well, this past public holiday, 16 June, I figured I’d go check it out. When I arrived I saw 3 games in progress on tables in the front of the store. I wandered around, not recognising any of the games that were being played, but I recognised a few that were available for sale. I was greeted by one of the members of staff who asked if I needed any help or if I’d like to join their game. I decided to just watch initially and sat down to watch what looked like a really fun game where the objective is to survive a zombie apocalypse. After that game ended I was again invited to try a game, this time a simple, but very fun game, involving dragons flying around the board trying to not crash into each other or fall off the board. I joined the game, but had to leave shortly after we finished. Something I loved about this little adventure was that this wasn’t a completely male environment. Yes, the ladies were outnumbered by the guys, but everyone seemed to get along fine doing something they enjoyed. A bit of further research indicated that there is a group called Geek Girls Durban who seem to hang out at the Unseen Shoppe and another place called The BatCave. I’m looking forward to hanging out at the Unseen Shoppe more in future.

So that covers my recent adventures, now for some info about events that are coming up.

This coming Saturday, 21 June, The Durban Linux User Group will be having a get together at Gloria Jean’s Coffees in Davenport Square from 10am to 2pm. More details can be found on the event pages on Facebook and Google+.

On Friday 27 June, the Durban kink/BDSM community will be having a play party. Booking is essential so go find the details on Fetlife.

Next Saturday, 28 June, there will be a number of events happening. Firstly we have the Durban Polyamory social breakfast at Circus Circus Beach Cafe from 8am to 10am. There is Durban Pride at the Sharks Stadium Outer Fields from 10am. Geek Girls Durban will also be hosting a Second Hand Book Sale at The Unseen Shoppe.

I think that covers June. Eish, what a busy month, especially after moving during the first 2 weeks. Stay tuned for July though. Dates still have to be confirmed but I will be hosting the July Durban Polyamory Lunch/Picnic with the topic of “How to make safer sex fun”. This should be an interesting one. There has also been a suggestion for me to do a talk about the stuff I do with rope, in a more public setting, though I haven’t even had time to think about that one yet.

Have fun.